they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
wow bdsm is so cute
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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