I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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