Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
