I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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