Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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