Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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