Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
