Cold hands, warm shart.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
