How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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