I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
