Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
