Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You can't just leave with hair like that
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
