It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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