the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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