put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
