he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
