All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
