I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
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