Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
