I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
