Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
