There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
