Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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