Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
