we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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