What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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