I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
