I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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