Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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