my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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