If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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