OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
