I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
