did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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