im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
