any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
