did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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