The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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