Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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