so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
