oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We are all done wearing pants today
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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