my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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