it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
