Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
