You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
