How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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