Sponge bath it is.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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