my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
