Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
