Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Holy sore nipples Batman
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
