those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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